My husband's cousin has been dating the same girl since entering medical school 4 years ago. His mother thinks his girlfriend too controlling of him. The cousin agrees that such control issue has rocked their relationship from time to time, but continued dating her.
The cousin has recently been accepted into the neuro surgery progrom at the university of his choice. He met a new girl, and promtly ended his relationship with his long-time girlfriend. The new girl is a nursing student. She is said to have superior social skills, whatever that means. His mother fears the new girlfriend's superior social skills may put her son in a disadvantage, again, whatever that means. More importantly, the new girl is not Chinese. Worse, she's Middle Eastern, which is low on a racist parent's preference ranking.
The obvious racism aside, this reminds me of the "no girl is good enough for my son" mentality that I have seen so many times before. It's worse if the son in question is to be a professional.
My husband's family's approval criteria for me relatively straight-forward. The criteria was if I was capable of fufulling my duty as a future daughter-in-law. In my case, it was my husband's grandmother who examined me and gave me the seal of approval. The centre of my palm was thick enough to indicate that sufficient fortune was present; my hip was wide enough to indicate that I could bear child.
Fast-forward 20-30 years from now. I imagine my own son introducing his girlfriend to me. Will I be liberal enough not to judge her too critically? After all, even though my son is far from perfect, he is, afterall, my only boy.
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Transitions
My transition from a crackberry workaholic to a nurturing mother to a newborn more than took two weeks.
At first, as I commenced my maternity leave, and waited at home, I could not resist checking my blackberry every 15 minutes, and was still answering emails from the office as well as clients.
Given it was September 2008, the US financial crisis was just starting to unfold. I was glued to MSNBC, absorbing the magnitude of the financial failure from Lehman Brothers to AIG, and worrying about how it would impact our business.
Even after the baby was born, I still seemed to have endless energy. The baby seemed easy to take care of. Even though I only got 5 hours of sleep at night, I was still entertaining guests and playing with my 3 year old boy. At one point I was ransacking the bookshelf looking for interesting technical books to read. I started to read a book on negotiating skills but wisely put it down after reading 3 chapters.
Perhaps I was tired of all the doom and gloom talk on the news, or just plain tired from the lack of sleep, I stopped watching the news programs and started to concentrate being a mother to a newborn. My business mindset transitioned to a domestic one. I reckoned that I have no control over the economic condition, and cannot continue to worry about the flow of capial (or the lack of) in the credit market. When I return to the workforce from my maternity leave a year from now, who knows what kind of economic condition we will be in?
One thing I continue to watch closely, is America's transition from the Bush administration to the Obama administration.
Will the American society based on fear and manipulation transform to a society full of hope and ready to embrace change? How will the Obama administration overhaul the system based on lies and serving agendas different from the public's?
Restoring civil liberties, bringing the education system to first world standard, stopping corporate fraud, limiting executive compensation, recapitalizing the capital market, restoring order and confidence in the financial market, protecting the American homeland, combating terrorism, are daunting task for the next 4 (maybe 8) years.
There is no doubt that there will be more turmoil to come. And hopefully the new administration will handle each crisis apprpriately and plan for the future.
On this day of new president's inauguration, I wonder how long the transition from George W. Bush's America to Barrack Obama's America will take.
At first, as I commenced my maternity leave, and waited at home, I could not resist checking my blackberry every 15 minutes, and was still answering emails from the office as well as clients.
Given it was September 2008, the US financial crisis was just starting to unfold. I was glued to MSNBC, absorbing the magnitude of the financial failure from Lehman Brothers to AIG, and worrying about how it would impact our business.
Even after the baby was born, I still seemed to have endless energy. The baby seemed easy to take care of. Even though I only got 5 hours of sleep at night, I was still entertaining guests and playing with my 3 year old boy. At one point I was ransacking the bookshelf looking for interesting technical books to read. I started to read a book on negotiating skills but wisely put it down after reading 3 chapters.
Perhaps I was tired of all the doom and gloom talk on the news, or just plain tired from the lack of sleep, I stopped watching the news programs and started to concentrate being a mother to a newborn. My business mindset transitioned to a domestic one. I reckoned that I have no control over the economic condition, and cannot continue to worry about the flow of capial (or the lack of) in the credit market. When I return to the workforce from my maternity leave a year from now, who knows what kind of economic condition we will be in?
One thing I continue to watch closely, is America's transition from the Bush administration to the Obama administration.
Will the American society based on fear and manipulation transform to a society full of hope and ready to embrace change? How will the Obama administration overhaul the system based on lies and serving agendas different from the public's?
Restoring civil liberties, bringing the education system to first world standard, stopping corporate fraud, limiting executive compensation, recapitalizing the capital market, restoring order and confidence in the financial market, protecting the American homeland, combating terrorism, are daunting task for the next 4 (maybe 8) years.
There is no doubt that there will be more turmoil to come. And hopefully the new administration will handle each crisis apprpriately and plan for the future.
On this day of new president's inauguration, I wonder how long the transition from George W. Bush's America to Barrack Obama's America will take.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)